Monday, October 17, 2011

Outrunning The Horde, pt. 2

October 17th, 2011, P.R.

I've started jogging.

I went out jogging after I wrote the intial draft of the last post, then went to my friend's place to write some more and also weigh myself. I jogged this morning, too, and dear god, I am out of shape. I made sure to research jogging on the internet a bit before starting (haha, nerd) and managed to find some good advice:

  1. STRETCH. Oh god, stretch! Especially if you aren't very active.
  2. Don't just run until you're out of breath: slow down, walk, catch your breath, resume.
  3. When you finish, don't just jump into the shower; wait until your heart rate slows.
So yeah, number 1, stretch. It's important to loosen your leg muscles before working them too hard. I mean, it's unlikely that zombies will be stretching before they come after you, so already you'll have that advantage. Hurting yourself right off the bat because you didn't stretch would be foolish, and a sure way to add yourself to the shambling horde.

Here's some simple leg stretches:
  • Kneel with one leg forward, making sure your knee doesn't actually touch the floor. Lean against your forward leg and hold it for about fifteen seconds. Switch legs and repeat.
  • While standing, bend your right knee as much as you can and grab your foot with your left hand. Hold it for about fifteen seconds, switch feet and hands, repeat.
  • There was a third one, but I forget what it was. I'm too lazy to Google it right now. Yes, I'm that lazy.
And make sure to stretch before and after you jog.

Point 2: not running yourself out of breath. This is key to ensuring a lengthy jogging session where you don't immediately kill yourself. The point of jogging is to improve your health, not run really fast. Save the competitive running for the apocalypse! Sure, some zombies will have bursts of speed, but unless we're dealing with 28 Days Later-style zombies, it'll be more important to be able to run longer than faster.

If we are dealing with 28 Days Later-style zombies, then... don't even bother with this blog, man, we're boned.

How to run longer:
  • It's so easy, I don't even need a bullet-point list, but I love making these.
  • Jog at a brisk pace, nothing too intense, and then slow down when you feel yourself getting a little tired. Slow down, but don't stop: walk until you feel ready again.
  • Walk for as long as it takes for you to recuperate, even if that means walking longer than you actually jog.

Point 3, don't just jump in the shower, the last number on that first list (oh man, I love lists) is something I learned by chance right before I started.

See, when you jog, or do any other kind of exercise, you start to sweat. Don't be afraid, that's normal. It's not the first sign of zombification (the CDC has yet to release the symptoms and signs of zombification, but that's for another blog post). Sweating is good, it means your body and your heart are working properly.

You will likely sweat for some time after you finish jogging, or exercising or whatever, so if you just come home and jump in the shower, there's chances you'll emerge, towel yourself off, and then keep sweating. Gross.

When you finish, give your heart time to slow down and you'll stop sweating. I give it about thirty minutes. Drink some OJ, review maps of your neighborhood to spot good choke points, check your e-mail, whatever. Once you feel disgustingly sticky, it means it's time to hit the showers!

Now, the real challenge remains, how long can I keep this up?

1 comment:

  1. I'm more of a run from the police than run from zombies kinda guy, in fact I might run from police TO zombies. Either way it's a good look to stay fit :D

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